Posts Tagged ‘expectations

27
Mar
08

To whom much is given, much is expected

When I was in high school, I used to collect all the medals and awards in our school. Be it a quiz bee, on poster making contests, essay writing competitions, journalism contests, and academic excellence awards, I almost got it all. I also joined different organizations like math club, science club, art club, and I even ran and won in student council. High school has been very good for me. I managed to do well during those days, and it gave me the benefit of being known in the school. Yet, believe it or not, my feet remained fastened in the ground.

Yeah, yeah, honestly I really don’t want to brag about this thing. I just can’t think of any good and humble introduction right now. So before any worse things run through your mind, I’ll share a quote to you that goes:

Never explain; your friends don’t need it and your enemies won’t believe you anyway.

Back to the topic. Then when I was about to graduate, I realized that everything would stop in here, that the fame and fortune will, probably, be over. College will be a very different environment. I thought that I have to start all over again. I thought that I’m going to stop in getting achievements. Fear really floated inside me because I’ll have to deal with new different people, all strangers, not even one familiar face. I really thought then that college would be very difficult for me…

But then… to my surprise… everything went okay for me. I entered a course which I really have no concrete idea what it is all about. I know how to use a computer, but the idea of programming, creating software, databases and applications are all foreign concepts to me. But as the years go by, I was able to absorb all the new knowledge quickly. I was able to balance all my abilities in all the major and minor subjects in our course. All things went well. And after the 4 years of consistent hard work, I received a recognition from our department which means a lot to me. I don’t want to be boastful about it, though, but I just want to share that I emerged as the top student in Bachelor of Science of Computer Science Batch 2004 – 2008.

To tell you honestly, I really didn’t expect this thing. I came from the lowest section in our course, though this sectioning in our college has no bearing to the abilities of the students in that section. As I was saying, I really never thought that I’ll rank first in the list. Simply because I believe that there are better computer science students than me. I’m not the best programming student in our batch. I admit it. Though the probable reason why I reached the top is because I was able to excel in all the subjects. I managed to be good in every minor and major subjects that we had, and this was the result of my hard works. But on the negative side of this thing, I’m a little worried on the expectations that it entails. As I said, I’m not the best programming student; perhaps I’m only on the average level of it. But given the fact that you’re on the top of the list, people will probably think that you’re the best. I’m very worried about it.

I’m just very happy that I reached the things that lie beyond my expectations. I’m proud for my self that even in college, I was still able to be good on my studies. I know that this is still not the end of the battle/adventure. It is just the beginning of a much bigger competition.

achievement

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28
Nov
06

Pains in my head

Expectations, Pressures, and disappointments..

these three things are driving me nuts.. I just feel that I might not handle it the right way..

SIGH..

im glad with the thought that people notice my efforts and performances in school.. yeah, it’s really flattering for me, really happy with it.. but now I realize that it has its pros and cons..

now.. they EXPECT something from me.. I can’t say that it is too much, that they are expecting too much.. for they believe that I can do it, for they believe in my ability..

it is ok for me, it gives me the FORCE to do things, to be good at all my actions.. though sometimes the PRESSURE is too much.. to the point that I feel that I dont have the right to commit mistakes, that I am not allowed to do the normal things or the average.

maybe, im just thinking too much.. EXPECTATIONS are ok.. it’s gives me the challenge, the goal that i must achieved.. though maybe, im just too afraid.. afraid that they will be DISAPPOINTED with me..

it’s one of the things that I fear most.. DISAPPOINTMENT. I want everyone to be satisfy with who I am, with what I have, with what I do.. I dont want other people to dislike me, to be disappointed with me.. coz it’s really depressing for my part..

now, it gives me the reason to envy those low profile persons.. for they are free from all these hassles that I feel right now.. sigh.  though I must be thankful anyway… Help me God!




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