Pains in my head

Expectations, Pressures, and disappointments..

these three things are driving me nuts.. I just feel that I might not handle it the right way..

SIGH..

im glad with the thought that people notice my efforts and performances in school.. yeah, it’s really flattering for me, really happy with it.. but now I realize that it has its pros and cons..

now.. they EXPECT something from me.. I can’t say that it is too much, that they are expecting too much.. for they believe that I can do it, for they believe in my ability..

it is ok for me, it gives me the FORCE to do things, to be good at all my actions.. though sometimes the PRESSURE is too much.. to the point that I feel that I dont have the right to commit mistakes, that I am not allowed to do the normal things or the average.

maybe, im just thinking too much.. EXPECTATIONS are ok.. it’s gives me the challenge, the goal that i must achieved.. though maybe, im just too afraid.. afraid that they will be DISAPPOINTED with me..

it’s one of the things that I fear most.. DISAPPOINTMENT. I want everyone to be satisfy with who I am, with what I have, with what I do.. I dont want other people to dislike me, to be disappointed with me.. coz it’s really depressing for my part..

now, it gives me the reason to envy those low profile persons.. for they are free from all these hassles that I feel right now.. sigh.  though I must be thankful anyway… Help me God!

Ang Sinumpang Susi

tralalalala…

isang matiwasay na tanghali, habang aking binabagtas ang mataong kalye ng Teresa.. katatapos ko lang mag-online ng mga sandaling iyon, nag-search ng mga bagay na hindi ko rin naman na-search, paglulustay ng oras at salapi.. syang tunay.

lumipas na ang tanghalian, ngunit wala pa ring laman ang aking sikmura.. hindi kasi ako nananghalian sa bahay, masyado pa kasing maaga, binalak ko na lang na magpakabusog sa isang hamburger mamaya.

Malapit na ako sa gate ng PUP.. tulad ng aking nakagawian, binuksan ko na ang aking bad upang kunin ang aking I.D.

*GITLA* (super higher level ng pagkagulat)

"nasan yung I.D. ko!?!"

hinalungkat ko ang aking bag, tiningnan at kinalikot ang bawat sulok nito.. wala kong nakita.. Naiwan ko ba sa bahay?! Nahulog kaya sa daan?!

isang malamig na bagay ang nahagip ng aking mga daliri.. SUSI!
Napaisip ako.. ayun! Unti-unting luminaw sa aking isipan ang isang malaking pagkakamali na aking nagawa..

"holy cow!!.. hindi ko nasauli yung susi ng E409 kaya nasa server pa yung I.D. ko!!!!!"

kinuha ko ang aking regi at pumasok na sa isKuL.. habang naglalakd ay iniisip ang mga maari kong idahilan, iniisip ang sasabihin sa akin ni Sir Steve (lab head ng server), iniisip ang aking ire-react, iniisip kung ano ang kahahantungan ng aking kasalanan…waaaah wala na akong kinabukasan!!!

nakarating ako sa 3rd floor south wing.. pawisan sa sobrang takot.. tinext ko si Aisza (na S.A. sa server) at sinabi ang nangyari.. sinamahan naman niya ako sa pagharap sa server.. *shy*..

good thing is hindi masyadong nagalit si Sir Steve, bad thing is na kay Sir Pagalilawan yung ID ko.. so ayun, kailangan ko tuloy gumawa ng letter para makuha ang ID ko sa Chairperson’s office..

habang nagkaklase si Sir Austria, sinulat ko na ang aking "sorry" letter.. wag ka, English pa yun! hehe baka sakaling ma-impress si sir.. pagkatapos ng klase ay dumiretso ako agad sa Chairperson’s office..

kinakabahan ako.. at medyo kampante rin.. kahit papaano eh kilala naman ako ni Sir Pagalilawan, at least medyo hindi na ako mapapahiya nito..

sinamahan pa ako nila Leah at Enrico dun, well, hindi para suportahan ako, kundi para makita kung ano yung gagawin sa akin! (ahehe yan ang kaibigan hehe).. binigay ko na ang aking "sorry" letter kay sir.. ayun medyo nagpakipot pa at sinabing nakalimutan din nya kung nasaan ang aking I.D… pero syempre joke lang yun..

Haaaayyy.. medio nakahinga na rin ako ng maluwag.. at least solve na ang lahat.. ibinigay din ni Sir ang aking I.D…

Lesson Learned: Huwag nang kukuha ng Susi.. hayaan na ang ibang klasmeyt na gumawa nun! Hmmp!

Tired of the Usual

sigh.. the school day has started just last week.. and i’ve been way too busy on the past days.. full of school stuffs to do.. and by then, i noticed that im losing my time in doing my daily diary…

so.. i thought.. why not take a change.. i’ve been doing this thing for quite some time.. so maybe i need to take a rest with it.. it’s been 34 weeks! and that has been a mouthful of things about my daily life.. so i’ll probably go on for a change..

i’ve been writing same things everyday, and i grew tired of it.. so maybe, i’ll have to note only those days with remarkable experience, remarkable things, remarkable event, remarkable people, and lotsa more…

that’s it!.. that’s what i will do.. and hope you’ll still enjoy reading things (kung meron mang nagbabasa ^_^)

voila!

jamming: Win by Brian mcknight

Win

by Brian McKnight

Dark is the nightI can weather the stormNever say dieI’ve been down this road before

I’ll never quitI’ll never lay downSee I promised myself that I’d never let me down

Chorus: 

So I'll never give upNever give inNever let a ray of doubt slip inAnd if I fall, I'll never failI'll just get up and try againNever lose hope, never lose faithThere's much too much at stakeUpon myself I must dependI'm not looking for place or showI'm gonna win

No stopping nowThere's still all ways to goSomeway, somehowWhatever it takes I knowI'll never quitI'll never go downI'll make sure they remember my nameA hundred years from now

Chorus

When it's all said and doneMy once in a lifetime won't be back againNow is the time to take a standHere is my chanceThat's why I'll

Chorus

- - - - right now, this is my inspirational song.. and i’ll hold on his song forever, i guess.i really like inspirational songs.. it encourage me to go further… to be strong all the time…

so, i say, i’ll stick to it, i’ll continue struggling… and someday… i’ll WIN.

ink: Morning Rush’s Hot Ten

bad tagalog translations for English Movie Titles

1. Black hawk down - ibong maitim sa ibaba
2. dead man’s chest  -  dodo ng patay
3. i know what you did last summer - uyy… aminin!
4. love, actually  -  sa totoo lang, pag-ibig
5. million dollar baby - 50 million pisong sanggol (it depends on the exchange rate of the country)
6. the blair witch project - ang proyekto ng bruhang si blair
7. mary poppins  - si mariang may putok
8. snakes on a plane -  nag-ahasan sa ere
9. the postman always rings twice -  ang kartero kapag dumutdot laging dalawang beses
10. sum of all fears - takot mo, takot ko, takot nating lahat
11. swordfish  - talakitok
12. pretty woman -  ganda ng lola mo
13. robin hood, men in tights - si robin hood at ang mga felix bakat
14. 4 weddings in a funeral -  kahit 4 na beses ka pang magpakasal, mamamatay ka rin
15. the good, the bad and the ugly -  ako, ikaw, kayong lahat
16. harry potter and the sorcerer’s stone -  adik si harry, tumira ng shabu
17. click   -  isang pindot ka lang
18. brokeback mountain  -  may nawasak sa likod ng bundok ng tralala / bumigay sa bundok
19. the day of the death -  ayaw tumayo (ng mga patay)
20. waterworld  -  basang-basa
21. there’s something about mary -  may kwan sa ano ni maria
22. employee of the month  -  ang sipsip
23. resident evil  -  ang biyenan
24. kill bill   -  kilitiin sa bilbil
25. the grudge   -  lintik lang ang walang ganti
26. nightmare before christmas -  binangungot sa noche buena
27. annie hall   -  ang butas ni annie
28. never been kissed  -  pangit kasi
29. gone in 60 seconds  -  1 round, tulog
30. the fast and the furious  - ang bitin, galit
31. too fast, too furious  -  kapag sobrang bitin, sobrang galit
32. dude, where’s my car -  dong, anong level ulit tayo nag-park?
33. beauty and the beast -  ang asawa ko at ang nanay nya
34. the lord of the rings -  ang alahero

RaNdom tHoughtS: Dreaming

Dreaming.. usually happens when you are asleep.. but it can also be done when you’re awake (like i always do.. yeah im fond of daydreaming hehe)..

Actually, nabuo ‘tong random thought na ito nung ako ay nasa loob ng aming banyo habang.. naliligo ^_^.  Bigla nalang nabuo sa aking isipan ang ilang queries about dreaming (while asleep)..

First thing, siyempre all of us experienced having a dream (kung meron man hindi pa, aba! tao ka ba?!).. and siyempre, sa mga dreams natin may mga ibang tao din tayong nakikita, di ba?  Mga taong maaaring kakilala natin, mga strangers, kung minsa’y buhay, minsa’y patay na, kapamilya, kabarkada, kapuso, at kung sinu sino pa..

Naisip ko lang.. sa mga oras na nananaginip ka at kasama mo ang ilang taong iyon sa iyong dream, at that moment kaya eh nananaginip din sila at iyon din ang panaginip nila, tulad ng sa iyo?  it makes sense somehow di ba? hehe.. sabi kasi nila, when we are dreaming, naglalakbay yung spirit natin.. so it is possible too na mga spirit din ng mga taong iyon ang nakikita natin sa dreams natin.. di ba?! ^_^

Pero naisip ko rin na imposible rin, kasi minsan (or maybe most of the time) eh yung mga taong nakita natin sa panaginip ay walang alam kung ano yung dreams natin.. hindi nila napaginipan yung same dream na yun.. so baka nga mali yung thought ko (-_-)..

Second thought ko is this.. uhm.. bakit kaya hindi ko magawa sa panaginip yung mga certain things na hindi ko rin nagagawa in reality?.. dont think dirty ha.. i mean, kahit sa dreams eh nahihiya pa rin ako kumilos, magsalita, atbp…

if i remember i had this dream kung saan nasa bahay daw ako ng tita ko, and merong black forest cake na nasa lamesa.. gustong gusto ko daw kainin pero naghesitate ako dahil nahihiya akong gawin.. then when i woke up from the dream, nasabi ko na lang, "sayang, dapat kinain ko na yung cake eh, dapat hindi na ako nahiya panaginip lang naman yun eh! tsktsk!"

parang tanga diba?! hehe.. pero it still happens to me.. maybe kung ano ka sa reality, ganun ka pa rin kahit sa dreams.. mahihiya ka pa ring gawin ang ilang bagay, matatakot ka pa rin sa mga kinatatakutan mo.. lahat ganun pa rin sa panaginip mo.. pero im still hoping na sana magbago na.. i hate waking up with regrets from my dream eh hehe… ^_^